What I am calling in this Summer

Letting go

I have an issue with control. When growing up in a house where you are not always safe, having control is an important part of keeping yourself safe. Ive slowly untied those knots that held me together and kept me safe as a child and woven a different story for myself. But sometimes I find old habits seeping in like a draft of cold air slipping out under a wonky door into the summer heat. Hot weather usually finds me hell bent on having certain experiences, keeping a specific bedtime, making these foods, and doing all these crafts and activities. Upon failing spectacularly at achieving everything and feeling like I lost control- I spend sometime beating myself up before finally coming to the conclusion that I did what I needed to be doing at the time and that it’ll all come out in the wash… However, I am left with a lingering feeling of regret. This idea of knowing better, but not necessarily trusting and understanding how to get there. Until I came across this concept I was introduced to by youtuber and actress and Ana Akana about how doing things in service your future self is a simple ass level up I never knew I needed.

So yeah, the energy i’m calling this summer is “ Will my future self thank me for this”?

PS! Currently taking submissions to my advice column called Hemmin’ and Hawin’ , email your submission to thehillbillyafrican@gmail.com. All submissions will be kept anonymous.

Rootin’ Tootinly’ yours,

Farai