SHOW UP part 2

ways I am embedded in my community

Gearing up for our 3rd annual tea party for my informal social group which seems like its going to be bigger and better along with a summer planning meeting for our homeschool co-op so I thought I would run this back.

Before I start this rant post, I recognize a few things,

1. This is not everyone’s portion in life.

2. Do what you can.

3. Be realistic about your abilities, but do not be afraid to stretch past your comfort zone.

4. I did not do most of these things during pregnancy and the first 2 years postpartum. My energy back then was on birthing, supporting, and growing my babies and myself.

Every so often I hear people complain about the city I live in while engaging in zero mutual aid, volunteering, or in general doing absolutely nothing to improve or help. It can be as simple as picking up trash at a park, to running for public office, or volunteering at soup kitchen . Whatever, you name it. Just do something. Showing up builds community. If you are feeling lonely or wanting to build relationships, show up.

I also want to preface this by saying I am not rich in any shape or form. We support our family of 4 very precariously on a single income. Most boards i’ve seen are populated by retired and well off older white folks with time to spare. Volunteering is not accessible to everyone. But it is doable.

Here are a few things I do, not counting mutual aid, random birth work, and some other things.

Visiting our local library and engaging with their programs, art installs, and book store.

Join local facebook groups or email lists ran by folks with shared interests- for example: birding, mycology, herbalism, writing etc etc.

Supporting my local bookstores.

Getting a membership at our local children’s museum.

I help run a local urban homesteading facebook group with over 1000 members. It is relatively easy lift unless we are hosting classes or a skills conference which we only do when we have community partners and time. This came from my need to connect with other plant people . I’ve given and received so much from this group. From seedlings, to chickens, to support, resources, and a really good sister friend.

I co-founded an informal social group for Black Women in my city to meet and hang out. We meet for brunch, picnics, hikes, painting, crafting, and soon book club. This one came from my desire to be around more Black women. It also gave me another amazing sister friend.

I help run our local secular homeschool co-op because our city has ZERO options for secular home educating families ( hello bible belt) so we had to make our own community. It is now egalitarian in nature and so all the parents pitch in to ensure its success which makes it so much easier. We do so many cool things together.

I am on an advisory and advocacy board for our local Parks and Recreation organization. I along with other members get to let the director and employees know what my section of the community needs from them as a public serving organization. Like more trash cans and accessible bathrooms at parks, along with making suggestions like “hey, maybe instead of calling the police on unhoused folks sleeping in parks or acting out maybe call a mental health crisis response team instead, because of course I do not want the mumbling naked man scaring my kids at the park-but I also don’t necessarily think he needs to be behind bars if he’s obviously malnourished, overheated, and struggling.”

Tony goes to our neighborhood improvement meetings, he’s on the board for our local Doula Organization that provides free doula care to pregnant families as well as Habitat for Humanity and he runs a quarterly Dad group where dads can meet to hang out and talk about fatherhood since there are not a lot of third spaces for men other than bars.

Do we have time for all of this? NO. But we find a way to make time. Its typically only a few hours a month if that.

Do certain things fall to the wayside because of our involvement ? Maybe.

Do we get by with childcare from friends sometimes? Absolutely.

Do I like being involved in all these things? No. But being in service is important to me.

Do I mess up and make mistakes? Yes.

Harreld’s are naturally hermits— I’d much rather be at home. I am easily annoyed by stupidity and hubris. Sometimes I feel intimidated AND I’m often made to feel like an outsider when people do not like what I have to say. My voice is shaky when I have to challenge rich white people on some of these boards who are threatened by me. BUT I love mankind. I live here too, and I have a RIGHT to make this place a better community for my children and I, along with those who do not have space to advocate for themselves.

So show up, dammit. If its not there and it needs to be, make it happen. If it already exists, go anyway-even if you are nervous.

Rootin Tootingly yours,

Farai